I have support from someone who cares for me all the time, who has locked his eyes to me even when I sleep, who make me realize my odds on time, who motivates me, empathize me and give some time to cry in alone. He is my companion who can do all the things for me who give me patience, show right path, boost confidence, encourage to do well and spread well, who wants me to just grow with enlightenment and never look back… I am blessed and I am thankful to him all the time, every time.
I am not an introvert but yes, I rarely share my feelings because I am too different than my people. No doubt, I have fabulous people in my life who are genuinely supporting and understand me well but many a times, I find myself alone when it comes to sharing the feelings and ideas for living a life. The principles and approaches I use to see my future or a particular thing is actually different that apart me from my circle.
Then, who is there who cares for me, who encourage me to believe in my own thoughts, boost my confidence and give a hope of – I am here to take care of you. Who is there who ask me to go ahead and says “Don’t worry, I will manage your hurdles”.
Who is he??? He is my Lord Shiva.
I am attached to him, eternally. My depth of thinking, darks and zeros, enlightenment and efforts, peace of life and home, happiness of materials and emotions, attachment with people too, rises within me but my senses never forget to correct me that these great feelings that are rising in me have been dropped in my heart by my Bhole Baba. Because I was not earlier like this, he made me this kind of guy otherwise I cannot even afford such great ideas to carry, And.. he turned me to live such a life.
My Bhole Baba is my everything, he is my friend, my family, my breath, my soul and.. he is in me. I remember when I close my eyes and try to meditate, his name is enough to wake my senses and re-energize me within a fraction of a second. Whenever I visit a temple, I stand in front of Shiv-Linga while worshiping, bow with surrendered heart, mind and soul, gazing him like he will say something in his own way and many a times he responded especially in case of some questions or doubts. He knows that I cannot do anything without uttering his name that’s why he love me and cares for me. He is my king, my almighty who never forget me.
I have a lot of fears that makes me feel sad but when I call my Baba to save me, I do get relief. When I think about him, he makes me realize his presence in my life. I am not a strong guy but he has never let me down because he know, for me, he is my only doer. I remember, he was always there in my bad time and made me strong enough to smile and let the things go. He raised my limits, showed a new world which is hard to see without his concern over me.
A person take care of his responsibilities in a way that suits his approach which is commonly materialistic. Truly, my approaches never allow me to follow that. My baba changed my vision with compassion, emotions, happiness and liveliness to fulfill all the responsibilities.
I am a positive guy with surrendered heart for my people, believe in deep thoughts with high concerns, whose prayers are his assets and good karma are the hopes for good future, who see people with the eyes of emotions and feelings, observe people from soul not from actions.
People go for a vacation to relax and have some good time. For me, pilgrimages are always on priority to seeking the deeps and get a glimpse of Baba’s love and to see how that imaginations are coming true. I remember, it was like a new birth for me when I visited 2 dhams- Kedarnath-Tungnath and Badrinath. I got some special feelings with tears like how much blessed I am that I lived this day, I am present at a place which is rare to visit and only possible, when Baba want to see them here, I am one of them today. Moreover, it took me almost 30 years to live this day, my whole life and lastly, I am the first person from my such a big family who chose by Baba.
It’s impossible to write all the feelings or moments, it is just a fair enough excerpt of what I feel and like to live.
Har Har Mahadev!